Thursday, March 26, 2009

Friends We Hold Dear

I’m unabashedly amazed at the comings and goings of some people in our lives. People that we met and never thought to see again can sometimes be the most important catalysts in our lives and someone that we think will be there forever just seem to vanish in the wink of an eye.

Two people that have played major parts in my life fit that description. One I met at a social gathering; she was kind of cool, had a new baby and I liked her a lot. But our lives seemed totally different; the paths we each were on seemed miles apart and I thought it was a shame that I wouldn’t get to know her better.

But 15 years later she is still one of the best friends I’ll ever have. You know the saying; friends help you move, but real friends help you move bodies. And she would, as I would for her. We’ve disagreed on lots of things during those years, but I’ve never doubted that we will always be sisters of the soul. I’m an ‘auntie’ to her daughter, a part of the village that has helped to give her guidance over the years. Not the my friend isn’t perfectly able to figure it out herself, but every now and again a helping hand and some thoughtful advice can do wonders for a single moms soul.

Now that my ‘niece’ is in high school, I look back at the years and feel awe at being able to be a part of her life. She is beautiful and talented and if I’ve contributed even the tiniest bit to that then I must have done something right.

And then there is the other situation; the one friend that you can never imagine leaving your orbit, your world. This is the person that has moved bodies for you, so to speak. They have lent their shoulder and soaked up more tears than anyone should have to; they support you emotionally, roll up their sleeves and get dirty when the situation requires. They are your hero.

And yet, somehow they are gone. There were no angry words, only an expression of pain. Words that evidently struck a guilty cord and now because of that keep them from saying those words that move mountains – change everything.

“I’m sorry”

Those are magic words – big ju ju in them. They can heal a wound deeper than any ocean and make the pain go away. But there is a secret to them; you have to actually utter them out loud. To the person who aches to hear them. To the person who doesn’t really understand what has happened.

Do you know someone who needs to hear those words? Don’t wait, don’t think you’ll get around to it tomorrow or next week; that precious person might not be there when you think you are ready. We have so few people in our lives that really mean that much to us. Don’t lose another one, another day with that person.