Friday, June 22, 2007

New Attitudes

**NOTE: I have a strong Sociology background and what makes us tick as human beings endlessly fascinates me. There is a certain person in my life who often tells me I have a bleeding heart, but I hope he will forgive me for this one…

I often found during my sociological studies that I felt a great deal of anger towards men. Not any men in particular, but at the social and emotional aspect of men roles in society as opposed to women’s roles in society. Granted, as women we have come a long way, but sometimes we still sabotage ourselves.

For instance, I watch Survivor and have since the first season. Okay, its reality TV at its worst sometimes, I’ll admit, but I still like it. Let’s face it though, it’s a Sociologist’s nightmare.

Whether the tribes are set up in the beginning as men vs. women, it always seems to come down to that. Several times I’ve seen strong female teams and alliances go to pot just because a few men join the group. It’s like, suddenly the men infiltrate the women’s minds and all that testosterone over-rides common sense. The women have to know that the men use their superior physical strength to their advantage, so the women must use their wits. And a few do manage, but then they are looked at as bitches by the men because they are strong, or as threats by the other women. Time after time strong female alliances crumple as men get in the way of them.

It makes me want to scream. Do there have to be female only alliances? No, but if that’s where your original loyalty lies, why let some guy come sliding in and get between you and your alliance?

Why? Because we are taught from our youngest ages as women that we submit to the superiority of males. My mother taught me to be strong and stand on my own two feet, that I was as good as any male out there. And my dad reinforced that through my ball playing years when he fought tirelessly for new equipment for us instead of the cast-offs of the boys.

But often times those messages of subjugation come from within us. I think it has something to do with sex. We are the female – the part of the sexual equation that is ‘entered’ during the process. We are taught that there can be pain, but we must endure because that’s just how it is. We do it because we love the man, we want the babies, and we take joy and pleasure in the act. None of those are bad reasons at all and it isn’t a bad thing, that’s not what I’m saying. But who told us those aspects of sex?

We internalize everything. All the major things happen to us internally, sex, babies, and menstruation. It’s how we were designed, how our bodies function, but growing up with our bodies how can we not internalize everything emotionally as well?

Most men tell us we think too much. Is it any wonder?

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